McDonald's Customer Dies Of Old Age In Drive-Thru As The Fast Food Giant Turns To Slow Food In 2022

McDonald's has a new slogan, "Over 7 sold in 2022"

Artist's rendition of a woman found in her car waiting for an iced tea and a burger.

Springfield, IL — Sources tell us that an unnamed McDonald’s customer sat in the drive-through for the remainder of her life waiting on a burger and an unsweetened iced tea. It wasn’t until it was finally her turn to pull forward that one of the workers at the restaurant noticed something strange and called authorities. Evidently, he heard all the honking and decided to find out what that tiny window was for on the side of the building. He approached the window, and it automatically slid open, and that’s when he looked out and saw a skeleton in a drop-top blocking a weird line of cars that wrapped around the entire building.

“I heard honking, so I just looked out this little window on the side of the restaurant and saw all these cars outside,” said the employee. “That’s when I saw what looked like the decomposed remains of a woman in a convertible."

The fast food worker called 911, and after five hours, an ambulance finally arrived to give the bad news. Coroners reported the time of death sometime earlier in the year, apparently from natural causes.

“She just waited too long,” said one of the ambulance drivers.

Meanwhile, a competing restaurant, Chick-fil-A, has been making money hand over fist because they run an efficient drive-through with a max wait time of four minutes, delivering impeccable service and high-quality spicy chicken sandwiches.¹

Our experts tell us that it’s imperative to stay away from fast food likes that don’t move so as not to die of dehydration and malnutrition, “It’s just a poor health decision!”

* It’s Satire, Stupid! 🤡

1. We’re totally open to some kind of sponsorship deal, Chick-fil-A.