Wheat Prices Soar As Biden Tries To Take Down The Amish
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Wheat Prices Soar As Biden Tries To Take Down The Amish
President Biden's contempt and hatred for the Amish has driven wheat prices to 14-year highs, forcing the Amish to eat the cost. Prices at the stable have tripled in the past week.
Intercourse, PA - President Biden's contempt and hatred for the Amish has driven wheat prices to 14-year highs, forcing the Amish to eat the cost. Prices at the stable have tripled in the past week.
A source close to the administration has hinted at a deep hatred for the Amish by the president that goes back decades to when Biden was a young boy. According to our source, the boy who would become president had a scuffle with another Amish boy nicknamed 'Corn Pop.' To quote the president, "Corn Pop was a bad dude, and he ran a bunch of bad Amish boys."
Biden was working as a lifeguard at the time and told the Amish kid not to sit on the diving board. The two got into a scuffle and, according to Corn Pop, "I kicked him right in the behind." Biden disagrees with the story, and ever since, he's had a deep hatred for the god-fearing group and vowed revenge.
Horses don't run on electricity. We feed our horses wheat. How am I going to get around now that prices have tripled in the past week? My horse, Caleb, will only eat Organic. I may have to switch him to Regular or even Breaded.
- Ishmael Boorg
We have reached out to the Biden administration for an official statement, but they have not responded.
* It's Satire Stupid!🤡
Now Lets Learn The Story Behind the Satire
We knew Corn Pop was a real problem for young Biden. We've heard the stories. He had to deal with others from a diverse and alternative background in his youth and he won't shut the fuck up about it. But we think the real story is his hatred for the Amish. Sources close to us tell us that they used to tease him back in the day in Scranton, PA. Similar to how Hitler was pissed at the Jews for teasing him at the gym, Biden is on the warpath due to his poor self-image.
Then we saw the prices of wheat rising and that's when it hit us. He's bitter. He's pissed at the Amish. Poor Biden had to deal with the fact that he felt inadequate watching hard-working Amish in his town, and he couldn't relate. These deep wounds trouble him. He must have vowed to get back at them somehow and that's why we think he wanted to hit them where it hurts. In horse fuel.
Therefore, we think that his deep hatred for the Amish and his low self-esteem is why we're all made to suffer, and that is why we wrote this article.
- Bobo out