Great Leader Putin Leads Tanks Into Battle: Claims ‘He Not Pussy Like Dedushka Biden’
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Great Leader Putin Leads Tanks Into Battle: Claims ‘He Not Pussy Like Dedushka Biden’
Earlier today we witnessed our shirtless and great leader, President Vladimir Putin, leading a fleet of tanks into the battlefield.
Moscow (Russian National News) - Earlier today we witnessed our great leader, President Vladimir Putin, leading a fleet of tanks into the battlefield. Riding up-front upon his glorious steed Sasha, our leader fought with vigor, strength, and glory.
Upon witnessing his great might and god-like leadership many Ukrainian soldiers fled in fear to their little disgusting irradiated houses and ugly large wives. Mounted upon his stallion, proud with communist strength, sweat pouring from his glorious brow, our great leader could be seen shouting and pointing his orders. Clearly leading as a real president should.
I will lead this 'Special Military Operation' and take back what was once not mine. Whoever tries to interfere with us will be faced with such consequences that you will more than likely make feces in your pants. - Vladimir Putin
With true power and glory, Putin's tank unit came in contact with enemy special forces, they took one look and instantly cowered in fear. The men laid down their weapons and surrendered. But those captured in battle had little to fear. Our leader was here and he gave them a choice. You can defect to the Russian side or I will run you over with my horse like a tyrant I admire, Comrade Justin Trudeau. Those who chose defection were sent back to Russia, where they were provided with their own private and beautiful government chalet, along with an excellent job working as a ground engineer in one of Russia's greatest mines.
Later that day our great leader could be seen lifting weights, stretching his groin, and practicing Russian Jiu-Jitsu on a look-a-like puppet traitor asshole, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. He would have practiced on a Biden look-a-like but could not find an old man that was frail enough.
* It's Satire Stupid! 🤡
Now Lets Learn The Story Behind the Satire
Putin is an easy target, from the shirtless horseback riding that makes us cringe, to the martial arts exhibitions, where it seems like nobody is allowed to kick his ass. Come on guy, drop down and lock his old ass into an armbar. Make him tap. Make him tap!
The tone of the article was written from the perspective of the Russian state media. We thought it would be way funnier to have the article be the propaganda that Russian media is feeding back to its people, showing just how ridiculous the propaganda can become. This is why you see a lot of 'Glorious Leader' and other classic commie propagandist pet names.
When we heard him give his little speech about how interfering would lead to dire consequences, all we could imagine was a shirtless Putin leading tanks into battle upon his glorious steed. So we photoshopped it.
Sometimes the photoshopped image comes first and other times we write the article and create the image after the fact. This one began with the former.
Therefore, we decided to put a picture generated in our minds, out into the ether, and that's why we wrote this article.
- Bobo out!