Fetterneck To Don Klaus Schwab Hooded Space Costume For First Congressional Appearance
"The...new...the...new...order.......world. The....old.....world. I love f-f-fracking. I fracked...today. I’m a fracker. I support fracking. Hello...good night. I...am...the...great...reset."
Davos, Switzerland — After winning the Pennsylvania election on Tuesday, senator-elect John Fetterneck was swiftly flown to Davos, Switzerland, to be sworn into the empire as a future leader of the World Economic Forum. His only issue, he needed some ‘classy’ gear to wear in the Senate. A grubby Carhartt hoodie wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
Upon arrival, Mr. Fetterneck had this to say.
The...new...the...new...order.......world. The....old.....world. I love f-f-fracking. I fracked...today. I’m a fracker. I support fracking. Hello...good night. I...am...the...great...reset. Um. I. Support. Fracking.
Our clowns later caught up with Mr. Fetterneck at the Klaus Schwab Clothing Emporium for Future Leaders. Like a classic ‘going shopping’ montage from your favorite ‘80s movie, Fetterneck could be seen posing while Klaus sat in a chair and shook his head NO until finally, after many outfits, Klaus nodded YES. Giddy, like the hooker in Pretty Woman, Mr. Fetterneck smiled and was later seen wearing his new threads around Davos.
Later, when pressed for comment, the confused senator-elect was grabbed by handlers and quickly rushed away to the nearest vehicle and flown out of the country.
Now that Fetterneck has tightened his grasp on power, we at Clown Pilled News look forward to reporting on all his future endeavors.
* It’s Satire, Stupid! 🤡