Facebook Allows Death Threats Towards Russia, Their Military Responds By Claiming They Are PoC
There have been reports that Facebook has declared open season on Russians and if you're a Russian, you're getting destroyed on Facebook.
Moscow, Russia - There have been reports that Facebook has declared open season on Russians and if you're a Russian, you're getting destroyed on Facebook. This is what the social media giant had to say...
"As a result of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, we have temporarily made allowances for forms of political expression that would normally violate our rules like violent speech such as ‘death to the Russian invaders'. This is okay because we are virtuous and way better than those dirty Vodka drinking losers with ugly wives and no brains," Facebook said in a statement.
What this means is that people can declare "death to Russian invaders" but can only direct the hatred towards soldiers and dirty Vodka drinking losers.
Meanwhile, many trolls and shit posters are taking this opportunity to do what they do best. Post shit and suck at life. Some even demanded that we need to enact a Purge on anything Russian.
Including the following:
James Bond 007: From Russia with Love
Toys that look like AK-47s
Dogs that act like Russians
Comfy warm hats that cover your ears
The Russian Response
When questioned about this new "bending of Facebook rules", many Russian soldiers had this to say:
As a soldier for Mother Russia I have now declared myself a Peoples of Color. As a Peoples of Color I can now do whatever I want and I will not even get slap on wrist from America. I am safe now. We are PoC and fighting the white devil man in Ukraine. - Russian Naval Commander
In addition, many Russian troops are now donning full-body suits with gloves and masks and declaring that they are 'Peoples of Color' because black lives matter and that they can now get away with anything.
"Why is everybody getting so upset? There is nothing to see here. We are going to burn cities and steal products from Ukrainian stores in the name of civil rights. Move along!" - Russian Shock Trooper
"Please do not look under our masks. Down with whitey." - Random Russian Soldier
One Russian general had this to say, "Just like the great Comrade Juicy Souliet we have done nothing wrong. Just like the great OJ of the Simpson. The glove does not fit and we will not quit. These charges are false. It is good because we fight the cracker ass crackers in Ukraine."
In an attempt to gain more support for their side, the Russian government has directed the country's mainstream media to start re-filming all of their commercials to only include mixed families or all-people of color actors as well as white men but only if they are the clown or the rube of the script.
The West's Response
Sources close to Facebook have reported that a memo has been circulating within the social media company declaring a lift on the Russian ban so as not to look racist and lower their ESG score. The memo stated, "I will not lose to Google in ESG and I can't wait to win 2022's, Klaus Swab employee of the year award. - MZ"
Reports from sources within the Biden administration say that the president wants to avoid war at all costs because of the optics around bombing people of color and the upcoming election cycle.
* It's Satire Stupid! 🤡
Now Lets Learn The Story Behind the Satire
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