Confused Joe Biden Wanders Into Ukrainian Battlefield Looking For Son Hunter
We searched everywhere. He wasn't at the pudding cup station in the kitchen, the bathroom changing his incontinence garment, nor was he bothering secret service agents in the halls with long stories.
Washington D.C. (Clown News Network) 7:13 AM - Time Magazine's Person of The Year, Joe Biden, went missing yesterday after his press conference regarding the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
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Sources have told us that after searching everywhere, our courageous and inclusive President's handlers were unable to find the leader.
What happened to the leader of the free world?
We searched everywhere. He wasn't at the pudding cup station in the kitchen, the bathroom changing his incontinence garment, nor was he bothering secret service agents in the halls with long stories about how he left a dead dog on a constituent's doorstep. We couldn't find him anywhere. That's when we found the video footage and started tracing his journey to Ukraine, said an anonymous administration official close to the situation.
What we know
Apparently, the president somehow shuffled aboard Marine One where he asked the pilot to take him to the airport so that he can pick up his son Hunter who was spending the night at a friend's house. When the helicopter arrived at the airport, the president then boarded Air Force One and departed from D.C.
Earlier today the President was seen looking confused and walking in the direction of the Ukrainian capital city, Kyiv.
I was on my way to do some conquering and I see this very old man shuffling down the road. He reminded me of my dedushka and so I stopped to ask him if he needed any help. He said, 'I'm supposed to pick up my son Hunter, he's at a sleepover at his friend Burisma's house.' I felt so bad I gave him a ride back to the Polish border and escorted him across to safety. - Russian Tank Commander, Shasha Petrov
We reached out to the White House and did not receive any response to the leaked information.
UPDATE (9:21 AM): The White House has responded and claims that the information is fake news and that the President is safe and sound, tucked away and taking his late-morning nap.
* It's Satire Stupid! 🤡
Now Lets Learn The Story Behind the Satire
We just couldn't help ourselves. Once we start photoshopping it's like we can't stop sometimes. It's really an addiction. In fact, the other day we found one of our clown designers (Pickles the Clown) laying in the corner with a USB cord tied off on her arm, nodding out, and drooling over a copy of photoshop running on her laptop. But I digress.
Biden is just so disconnected from reality and it makes us wonder, in fact, makes us nervous, that this is the guy that's supposed to be calling the shots. How does any world leader take him seriously let alone a ruthless killer like Putin?
I mean let's compare the two. One served in the KGB, probably pulling fingernails off little kids that spoke out against the state. The other has made a career out of lying, cheating, stealing, and getting paid to talk. The only "power", and I use that term liberally, that Biden actually has, is the might of our insanely badass military. But put that might into the hands of a sundowner that has a historically failed career of bad decisions and has always been on the wrong side of history, and we could have a serious recipe for disaster.
Therefore, we decided to point out the absurdity of today's clown world, and the power structure of our nation, and that's why we wrote this article.
- Bobo out!