BREAKING NEWS: Biden Trades Nuclear Secrets For An Extra Pudding Cup
BREAKING NEWS: Biden Trades Nuclear Secrets For An Extra Pudding Cup
The former Vice-President made it very clear that he was willing to trade anything for just one more pudding cup at dinner tonight.
Washington, D.C. — ‘Bad Trade Biden’, as he was known in his elementary school lunch room, has made yet another historically bad swap with the Russian government today. This time, it’s not for prisoners; it’s for pudding. The former Vice-President made it very clear that he was willing to trade anything for just one more pudding cup at dinner tonight.
“C’mon, man! It was the only deal on the table, man.” — Bad Trade Biden
A History of Bad Trades
Elementary School
The former Vice-President has a history of bad trades going back to elementary school, where he traded his mom’s famous peanut butter and jelly sandwich for a paperclip and two bits of string. Little Billy Smith made out that day, and rumors spread about the president naming him Bad Trade Biden.
College
Years later, in college, Biden traded his car for a chance to hang out with a notoriously bad dude named Corn Pop. Who was known for “running a bunch of bad boys.” Corn Pop got the Chevy, and Biden got the shaft.
Today
Recently, Biden traded “The Merchant of Death” for an unpatriotic American who hates America and kneels during the National Anthem. Meanwhile, a patriot and former US Marine is still being held captive in a Russian prison, yet another blunder from the Biden Administration.
At the rambling request of Joe Biden, the White House sent out a request to Russia for some pudding. Sources close to the administration tell us that he was ‘ravenous.’ He would stop at nothing to get ‘more pudding.’
“Call Putin! Call Xi! Get me more pudding!” screamed the former Vice-President.
Sources tell us that Administration officials ran around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find just one more pudding cup.
“That guy ate them all. The pantry is cleaned out. Store shelves are empty. He’s an octogenarian with a serious case of pudding fever. He scares us sometimes.” said one White House employee.
Fortunately for Joe, Russia was willing to trade some high-end Russian pudding, but not unless Biden gave up some top-secret nuclear documents. They had one other stipulation, “Send Hunter. Please don’t send Matt Damon to exchange the documents; that guy grosses us out!”
Biden agreed, the deal is now on, and Bad Trade Biden will have his pudding tonight.
*It’s Satire, Stupid! 🤡
That title. 😂